Be intentional. Be relational. Be selfless.
In all of your relationships the effort you put into them, and your attitude, have a direct affect on you and those around you. My heart is to encourage through sharing my joys and challenges – the good, the bad and the ugly. Words served up with a bit of sweet, a dash of spicy and a healthy serving of random reality.

About Tracey

On a good day you’ll find me outdoors hiking and squeezing in some writing. I love my man and my children, [read more]

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Just Write A Post Already!

Mar
12

You must know that pretty much every day I write a post to place on my blog site here.

The problem…I write it in my head while I am doing something else that needs my attention.

Rest assured that once I get through MomLife Boot Camp (that’s coming up in April) the posts will pick up again.

Between now and then it will be hit or miss…but thankfully there is no shortage of great content from many, many bloggers!

You know you can always head over to MomLifeToday for a daily post – I started that ministry five years ago and that is where most of my energies go.

We are in the process of preparing for MomLife Boot Camp and making some big, big decisions about next steps for MomLife Today – I look forward to seeing what God has in store and being obedient to His desires. Your prayers would be appreciated!

And if you know anything about me you know that time with God and family win out every time over tasks that are not absolutely necessary.

That Busy Mom Trap is always nipping at my heels!

 

 

Filed Under: Random, Writing Tagged With: , Leave a Comment

College Visit, Random Observations

Feb
25

This past weekend was Family Weekend at my daughter’s university. Her father, brother and I happily attended this annual event and were eager to spend time together as a family to recapture some of the mojo we miss on a daily basis.

Oh wow…it was glorious. The missing element to our family dynamics returned, that sweet, sometime snarky, always genuine, rapport was back and somehow turned up a notch because our girl has a unique relationship with her brother, her father and me. And then when we are all together the dynamics of each of those relationships reveal themselves in a gloriously sweet way.

Here are some random observations from the weekend:

  • Our children now share secrets we know nothing about, and watching them chide each other, knowingly, is precious.
  • My daughter still looks to her father for advice and understands that he loves her and each suggestion from him comes from a place of a desire to protect and lead – selflessly. And she accepts that, respectfully.
  • I am happiest when I see my family loving well – each other and others.
  • My girl chooses friends wisely and loves lavishly.
  • My daughter’s creativity reveals itself in the way she decorates her room and adorns her person.
  • I light up when my girl tells me I look cute – why does that matter so much?
  • The once picky eater, has a healthy relationship with food and sees it as fuel, nothing more.
  • Ireland has left an imprint on my sweet girl – tea time is a must and she savors moments of quiet each day in that pastime.
  • Our girl loves her family and we respect her space, learning to fill the areas she welcomes us into…and stay beyond the ones she is figuring out for herself – a dance we are figuring out…together.
  • A worn Bible and multiple worn journals beside my girls bed causes a deep warmth in my soul.
  • People matter to her, stuff – not so much.
  • Dang that girl can draw.
  • The smell of leather, saddles and all things horse are still a priority to my girl.
  • She has learned to harness her opinion and hear ours – oh that I could do the same with such patience.
  • Sometimes I just want to steal her away from the world and keep her all to myself.
  • I wish I could make parents understand that time with their child is the most important – too much time is wasted doing instead of being.  Savor the MOMents parents!!!!
  • The way her nose crinkles when she laughs.  {heavy sigh}
  • The nearby stable is a refuge and knowing she has a place to go to be with horses to hear from God clearly (as has always been her habit) – is a unique and blessed gift.
  • She didn’t want to, but her brother did, so she did it with him…always a caring big sister, sa-weet.
  • Uncontrolled laughter shared amongst my family is the sweetest of sounds.
  • Brother and sister, walking off towards a campus laughing and chatting is an amazing comfort – they will always have each other.  I pray.
  • Time is marching forward, seeing a memory of the future is humbling and fills me with peace and gratitude.

Moms – love your children well and savor every stinkin MOMent with them before you know it yours will be off to college and life will never, never be the same again. But that too, is yet another chapter of growth.

 

 

Filed Under: College Age Children, Family Tagged With: , , , 2 Comments

Mom Waste Of Time

Feb
21

Throughout my life keeping busy and being productive with my time has been a welcomed trait, one that has served me well.

It is almost as if I have this little “I am wasting time here” meter going off in my head at any given moment and thus I strive hard not to be unproductive.  Do you feel me here? Are you nodding in agreement?

Let us continue our back patting of our profound ability to accomplish!  Yay us!

As a born “organizer” have you too found yourself seeking to find the fastest, most efficient way to get any task completed and then get after it with gusto? Exhilarating isn’t it? At times I have even been referred to as “anal retentive” which is all the more celebrated because it causes me to get the job done!

When I was a professional I prided myself in my ability to juggle several projects at once and prove my worth based on my efficiency.

But at some point…all that seemed to change.

A beautiful thing happened through my life being radically turned upside down and I altered my requirement for constant doing. Doing was for me. My priorities changed…from me to she and he. Because, I became a mom!

I am now totally efficient at doing things that “appear” to be a total waste of time.

Yes, I know radical.  To be the mom is radical!

Doing nothing doesn’t come easy, it’s a learned habit, like so many of our other habits, it takes work and effort to acquire “waste of time” attributes.

Yeah – that’s what we did, and what we do, around our home – waste time!

Need an illustration?

A purple balloon.

It was my sons birthday and he picked up one of the discarded balloons from our family birthday celebration.  He smiled at me and bopped it towards me with his hand – I bopped it back and after several bops the laughter ensued.

We then kicked it back and forth, then we used elbows only, then knees, then noses, then we flicked it…and just about everything else you could think of, with rounds of repeats.  We kept at this for nearly forty-five minutes.

Here’s the kicker, I was supposed to be at a meeting, a gathering of moms who were working on a project together.  My son was supposed to have left the house, that’s what was on the morning schedule.  But…in the MOMent, my heart knew a little “waste of time” was in order.

Here’s the real kicker…this scene that has played out before your blog reading eyes did not occur on a birthday for my wee little son years ago…it occurred Tuesday for my seventeen year old son.

You see, we have a history of making time for each other, hanging out, playing, talking and even not talking, just being – the point is, years spent wasting time with my son has meant relationship building.

And relationship matters.

Please…take the time to waste some time!!!

Filed Under: Be The Mom, Fun Mom Ideas Tagged With: , , 1 Comment

Cruisin – Love Like You Mean It Style!

Feb
18

Wow…what a week I had last week!

Monday hubby and I sailed off into the sunset (literally) from the port of Miami on the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise and spent the next four days enjoying what can best be described as the decades ago memorable…dare I say it…Love Boat!

It really is encouraging to see a boat full of couples being intentional in pouring into their marriage. We met many couples who liked the idea of combining the ease of a preplanned vacation with meaningful time together exploring all things marriage.

Cruise ships may conjure up all sorts of questionable goings on…but not on this ship.  The casinos and bars were pretty much empty, the performances were all by Christian singers/groups, the comedy was clean and even the sculptures on board were wearing bathing suit tops…I kid you not!  There was amazing  fun and silliness going on, but it was all good clean fun! One of the big highlights was instructional ballroom dancing under the stars!

Hubby and I were blessed to be concert emcee’s the night Steven Curtis Chapman performed and he was amazingly vulnerable and real with us all – it was a tender moment.  There was an artist there, Jared Emerson, who painted a picture of Christ while Steven sang and that left me breathless!

I also got to meet Sara Groves (sweet, sweet mom!) and Anthony Evans – both awesome, I met lotsa people and every daggum one of them was awesome! The love was flowin…we were lovin like we meant it!

Next year Nicole Mullen is going to be one of the musical guests and there is a chance I might just blow a gasket…because she is my all time favorite!!!

There was also amazing connecting and down time for couples that was infused with Biblical teaching by Voddie Baucham, Priscilla Shirer, Ron Deal, Dennis and Barbara Rainey and Bob Lepine, among others.

Each evening the couples had special gifts waiting for them in their rooms designed to bring intentional time to their relationship and each day there were a myriad of choices for alone time or gathering with other couples time.

I cannot begin to describe how fantastical it is to see all around you couples growing in relationship and being intentional about their most important earthly relationship!

For me, the real blessing was the effect we were having on the crew of over 900 who come from around the world.  They could sense we were different and the atmosphere on the boat was electric – they experienced the love of Christ from 2,000 atypical guests.  They would “sneak” into the worship sessions and worship alongside us, they would tell us their stories, I know of one woman who asked if we were all in the same family or something.  “Why yes we are, in a way,” was the reply and the guest on board led her to Christ because this precious girl from Ireland  wanted to be a part of our family.

If you are married, I don’t know how long it has been since you and your hubby took some time away, for just the two of you…but I can tell you, if you are looking for options – you should consider the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It Cruise – it is not the “typical” Love Boat…it is God’s Love Boat!

 

Filed Under: Marriage Tagged With: , , , , Leave a Comment

Don’t Shoot The Mom Messenger

Feb
8

Don’t you just love it when you follow a link to a post and discover God brought you there for His purposes?

Last night I read a sweet moms thoughts and weighed what she had to say, considered how it applied me, (and others) understanding that she obviously felt convicted on the issue and led to share with those who read her blog.

You see, she has a relationship with those who read her blog. She knows them, they know her – there is heart sharing going on.

I do believe that is what blogging purports to be all about! A bit like the give and take of real life relationships – you know, those with whom we have cups of coffee over and share ourselves freely.

It is easy to accept and share advice and deep thoughts from those we have a relationship with.  We know who they are, we “get” them and how God uses them in our lives to convict, confront, encourage, empower – all that sometimes scary, sometimes glorious stuff.

What then if someone at a table next to ours at Starbucks – leans over into our coffee talk and says, “You my dear are small minded and judgmental – shame on you for sharing that thought with your friends.”

“Bug off dude – I’m not talking to you.”

That might be my first inclination.

Then the Holy Spirit would jolt me out of my sin nature and say, “A-hem, Tracey play nice.” And then something like…”Oh I am sorry you were offended, but you see my friend and I here, we share openly and honestly in an effort to learn from each other and learn what God is teaching us. My comments were not meant to offend you. Actually I love you – like Jesus, cause He lives in me and more than anything I try to share His love!”

Well, maybe not quite all that, but that’s what I would be thinking as I tried to say what I could, with grace, to allow God’s love to shine brighter than my words.

So, imagine my dismay, when I read what this precious young mom wrote, and scrolled down through the comments to see some most unkind “commenting from the table next to her” going on.

I guess I don’t much care for insertion into a conversation amongst friends to chastise and judge.

The big sister in me growled and I wanted to knock some heads (I do have some sass in me!) and shake some people into realizing their quick judgment and the finger pointing being placed on her were so “big brother” – which is what they were accusing her of. But worse, because she was with her friends, at her table and they inserted themselves into the conversation.

As a first time visitor to the blog, even I could see she was burdened by a truth she sees all around her and was trying to lovingly warn of potential long term ramifications. I have even written on the subject of iphone usage stealing time from family.

I think some doth protest too much.

I have been a sinner long enough and bad enough to know that usually that which bristles most is born out of conviction.

Don’t shoot the mom messenger.

Consider her words and if they are not for you, pray for the person after you who will read them and get that bristle that leads to heartfelt change.

Play nice!   :0)

 

Filed Under: Random Tagged With: , , , 1 Comment

Weekend Challenge

Feb
1

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about being an overwhelmed mom and suggested that spending quality time with your children may just help you battle those overwhelmed feelings.

You know what else will help?

A bit of flirting.

Yes, I am talking to my married friends out there…you need to flirt with your hubby!

Far too often the stresses of daily life burden a mom right out of one of the greatest stress relievers of all – sweet time with your man.

So girlfriend…today I am throwing out a stress relieving challenge – plan an at home date night one night this weekend!

Yes, I know it can be hard to turn off our “mommy brain” but it is oh so important to do just that. Set aside the mundane and the practical and get yourself inspired to enjoy some quality, relaxing time with your husband.

It doesn’t have to be expensive or over the top – the idea is to relieve the stress factor, not add to it. Let the kids know you are planning an at home “date night” for mom and dad and have them help you make some romantic decorations, place cards, set the table for two with candlelight and romantic music. (We once dined to Can You Feel The Love Tonight from Lion King – compliments of my sweet son!) The meal can be a simple one you make, or you could pre-order and have him pick up take out.

The stress of your day (and his) will melt away if you concentrate on loving your husband and spending quality time with him.

You can provide pizza and a movie for the kids, or get them situated with sandwiches and chips and a major art project or engineering masterpiece – whatever will keep them busy for a while.

Nothing seems to make kids happier than seeing their parents in love and you will find them eager to help you prepare and pull off a special quiet evening for two!

Best of all, in the process of planning and carrying out special time together as husband and wife you are training your children to do the same someday when they are married.

I would say that is some overwhelmingly successful parenting!

Filed Under: Fun Mom Ideas, Marriage Tagged With: , , 1 Comment

Granny’s Legacy

Jan
23

My Grandmother died, she is being buried today. She was my Daddy’s mama.

My Daddy has three brothers and a sister. When they were all in the home they worked on the farm, as dirt poor sharecroppers who worked hard, loved well and had a simple, yet special life. I love hearing the old stories.

My Daddy’s Daddy died some forty years ago and my Daddy’s mama was really special to the family. She was 97 years old…and precious.

When she turned 90 we had a big birthday party for her and I had all the family send me their favorite recipes and then I got my Daddy’s sister to give me all of Granny’s best recipes and created a cook book to honor her. In that cook book there is a photograph of her and a special poem. It’s a best selling cook book for us!  {love}

At that 90th birthday party my Daddy read that poem he wrote for her. Since then she asked him to read it to her many, many times. Especially over the last few months as her eyesight and health were failing. In her lifetime she was never honored with awards, her name was never on the lips of a newscaster, or famous person. But she did what God asked her to do when she became a mom – and she did it well, and for His name sake…not her own.

I think she had it right. Actually, I know she had it right.

I know her children, her grandchildren, her great grand children – I see the legacy she left behind. Being a mom really matters and to help you see that, here is what my sweet Daddy has to say about his mama.

  • “Mama”
  • By Samuel Tod Lanter
  • I’ve called her Mama since I was a kid,
  • Just as my brothers and my sister did.
  • If we were bad, as we often were,
  • We would feel the wrath oozing from her.
  • She was an old softie, a lot of the time.
  • But you bet we knew when to tow the line.
  • Cause she had rules by which we must abide,
  • And if we didn’t, she would tan our hide.
  • She would do it without a flinch,
  • with a willowy, limber switch.
  • There were certian things we knew not to try,
  • Such as steal, cuss, sass and especially never tell a life.
  • We learned all this in Church and Sunday School,
  • And Mama enforced this and the Golden Rule.
  • We were not fancy or blessed with wealth,
  • We just worked hard, played hard & prayed for good health.
  • Our clothes were always cleaned and ironed real neat,
  • And we had comfortable shoes on our feet.
  • We didn’t have fancy food, like you read about in a book,
  • But I’m telling you, that woman…she sure could cook!
  • We are all grown now, with our own kids and grandkids,
  • And each night before we close our eyelids…
  • We thank God for all our blessings and such,
  • And we also thank Mama, so very, very much.
  • Mama your legacy will go on through the years,
  • Your loving kindness & caring will wash away a lot of fears.
  • I proclaim the above “throughout the land”
  • You are loved by the entire LANTER clan.

 

Filed Under: Be The Mom, Family Tagged With: , , , , 3 Comments

Overwhelmed Mom Needs…

Jan
15

Feeling overwhelmed today? Wishing you could hang out with friends or co-workers more and have some fun? Do thoughts of days free to do whatever you want skip through your mind? Is having time to yourself at the top of your bucket list?

If you are familiar with me, you no doubt know that the next words typed on this page will include encouragement that what you do as a mom matters! A reminder that your momlife is important! You are molding children, and being molded yourself, for God’s purposes. Yes, it is hard, but it is worth it.

Far sooner than you realize you will long for time with your children, because as they get older your time with them gets less and less, then they have flown the nest and you truly do miss the joy and livelihood they bring to your home.

Hearing that from me is expected, but it does seem lately we are hearing that message from some unlikely sources.

Recently, television personality Sharon Osbourne from The Talk and America’s Got Talent shared that she regretted the time not spent with her children. She readily admitted she was too focused on self and did not take advantage of the time she had with her kids. She has regrets.

Just last week Bob Beckel from The Five shared his heart on how his son leaving for college has impacted him and saddened him on a heart level. He admonished parents to spend time with their children and recognize that the old adage, “time flies and before you know it, they will be gone” is true.

In the fall of 2012 a well known feminist wrote an article that frustrated and angered some of her peers as she lamented opportunities lost in her children’s life and stated that “you can have it all” is untrue – something will suffer.

So moms, regardless of your daily responsibilities my heart for you is that you take the time, somehow – someway, to intentionally spend time with your children and build a relationship. We all make time for that which we place high value in – I hope and pray you place value in spending meaningful time with your child.

An overwhelmed mom hungers for more, different, a break from the grind. Might I suggest the break from the grind are the little people right there in your care. Embrace where you are right now, realize it will be over before you know it and while here build relationship with your children. Make memories, have fun, “be” more and “do” less.

When it becomes too much and you get to the end of yourself – that’s a good thing, designed by God to cause you to seek Him, cling to Him and grow in Him.

Overwhelmed moms … take a deep breath, accept the season of life you are in, go with the flow, giggle more, seek relationship and life will be sweeter.

Filed Under: Be The Mom Tagged With: , , , 3 Comments

Lice Nightmare

Jan
11

Last night I was minding my own business, happily watching The Office with my son and husband when all of the sudden I broke out into a cold sweat and my heart started racing. I think I may have even been mumbling incoherently – eyes glazed over.

I was propelled back in time to a particularly stressful event as a mom, lean in close here – I am going to need to whisper, “it was that time, when my sweet little five year old girl, with the long, thick, beautiful brown hair was … ahem … infested with lice.”

I just winced…and my heart is beating fast again. Frown.

It was absolutely awful.

One of the girls in kindergarten who had a special fondness for Samara and loved to sit and play with her long hair was sent home with head lice. You got it, that night, I checked my sweet little girls hair bow clasped head and as I sat under a bright light and searched … I spotted one of the creepy, disgusting little critters and thought I might puke.

I had heard the stories, but you cannot really understand the awfulness of it, unless you have lived it.

Everything…and I do mean everything, is suspect and must be deloused cause their minuscule little eggs can be hidden just about anywhere my sweet little girls head had been. And if you don’t REALLY get rid of them, I mean every stinkin little one of those vile creatures and their eggs – they just keep coming back.

Think about all the places your child’s head touches…yeah!! Think about THAT!

Everything made of cloth, like everything, could potentially be a carrier of future relapse – stuffed animals, pillows, bedspreads, blankies, clothes, carpets, rugs, hair bows, towels, furniture, automobiles…

Is your heart beating fast now?!

On top of that you have to keep rechecking your kids head, because even if you think you have adequately shampooed you may have missed an egg…hatching leads to re-infestation and you start the whole process over.

One of her classmates, an adorable little boy with an awesome head of hair, was reduced to tears when his mother couldn’t take the chance and she shaved that boy bald.

Yeah…I thought about it, but that seemed a bit extreme for my little girl.

The Office handling of the lice episode was filled with laughter … but not for those moms out there like me who were having flashbacks.

However, if it does happen, don’t make your kid feel bad about it…go through your personal creep out misery with a smile on your face!

OK – I feel better now. Smiling again!

How about it…have you ever had a situation where you “wanted” to freak out, but you managed to hold it together so your kid wouldn’t freak out?

Filed Under: Children, Random Tagged With: , Leave a Comment

For Men Only, Sort Of

Jan
10

If you are like me you are sort of the “gate keeper” in your home.

Actually, it’s a well known fact by all marketers that you and I are the one’s who generally decide what is coming into our home, what our families are going to participate in, purchase, attend, visit, etc. (Assuming you are a chick – if you are one of the few dudes who read my blog – you need to keep reading too, this really is for YOU!)

You get the idea ladies, actually you live the idea – so I know you get it!

Well, as the gate keeper, if you have been looking for something that would “speak” to your husband and encourage and challenge him, in a good way, I would like you to take a look at the video at the bottom of the post I wrote Monday over at MomLife Today.

On Super Bowl Saturday (the day before the Super Bowl) there are groups of men around the country (world) gathering to watch a simulcast about how to Step Up and Be The Man!

Nice.

If your man can’t be part of this February 2nd event, no matter – he can get his own copy of the video series and do it by himself, with a gathering of men and/or with his own teenage son and their friends.

Many men watch Hollywood’s version of being a man, this gate keeper looks for any opportunity to have the men in my life watch God’s truth about Stepping Up to be a man. And there are not too many of those opportunities out there!

If you have an interest in this and you have any questions, please ask away.  I really believe in the content of this video event … it’s like a teaching tape on steroids because it is very engaging and inspiring.

My son and his friends gave up social events to continue watching this series and a group of guys my daughter attends college with went through the video series and they are planning a college wide guys event around it this semester.

It’s that good!

Filed Under: Hearth & Home, Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , Leave a Comment