Be intentional. Be relational. Be selfless.
In all of your relationships the effort you put into them, and your attitude, have a direct affect on you and those around you. My heart is to encourage through sharing my joys and challenges – the good, the bad and the ugly. Words served up with a bit of sweet, a dash of spicy and a healthy serving of random reality.

About Tracey

On a good day you’ll find me outdoors hiking and squeezing in some writing. I love my man and my children, [read more]

Cruisin – Love Like You Mean It Style!

Feb
18

Wow…what a week I had last week!

Monday hubby and I sailed off into the sunset (literally) from the port of Miami on the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise and spent the next four days enjoying what can best be described as the decades ago memorable…dare I say it…Love Boat!

It really is encouraging to see a boat full of couples being intentional in pouring into their marriage. We met many couples who liked the idea of combining the ease of a preplanned vacation with meaningful time together exploring all things marriage.

Cruise ships may conjure up all sorts of questionable goings on…but not on this ship.  The casinos and bars were pretty much empty, the performances were all by Christian singers/groups, the comedy was clean and even the sculptures on board were wearing bathing suit tops…I kid you not!  There was amazing  fun and silliness going on, but it was all good clean fun! One of the big highlights was instructional ballroom dancing under the stars!

Hubby and I were blessed to be concert emcee’s the night Steven Curtis Chapman performed and he was amazingly vulnerable and real with us all – it was a tender moment.  There was an artist there, Jared Emerson, who painted a picture of Christ while Steven sang and that left me breathless!

I also got to meet Sara Groves (sweet, sweet mom!) and Anthony Evans – both awesome, I met lotsa people and every daggum one of them was awesome! The love was flowin…we were lovin like we meant it!

Next year Nicole Mullen is going to be one of the musical guests and there is a chance I might just blow a gasket…because she is my all time favorite!!!

There was also amazing connecting and down time for couples that was infused with Biblical teaching by Voddie Baucham, Priscilla Shirer, Ron Deal, Dennis and Barbara Rainey and Bob Lepine, among others.

Each evening the couples had special gifts waiting for them in their rooms designed to bring intentional time to their relationship and each day there were a myriad of choices for alone time or gathering with other couples time.

I cannot begin to describe how fantastical it is to see all around you couples growing in relationship and being intentional about their most important earthly relationship!

For me, the real blessing was the effect we were having on the crew of over 900 who come from around the world.  They could sense we were different and the atmosphere on the boat was electric – they experienced the love of Christ from 2,000 atypical guests.  They would “sneak” into the worship sessions and worship alongside us, they would tell us their stories, I know of one woman who asked if we were all in the same family or something.  “Why yes we are, in a way,” was the reply and the guest on board led her to Christ because this precious girl from Ireland  wanted to be a part of our family.

If you are married, I don’t know how long it has been since you and your hubby took some time away, for just the two of you…but I can tell you, if you are looking for options – you should consider the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It Cruise – it is not the “typical” Love Boat…it is God’s Love Boat!

 

Weekend Challenge

Feb
1

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about being an overwhelmed mom and suggested that spending quality time with your children may just help you battle those overwhelmed feelings.

You know what else will help?

A bit of flirting.

Yes, I am talking to my married friends out there…you need to flirt with your hubby!

Far too often the stresses of daily life burden a mom right out of one of the greatest stress relievers of all – sweet time with your man.

So girlfriend…today I am throwing out a stress relieving challenge – plan an at home date night one night this weekend!

Yes, I know it can be hard to turn off our “mommy brain” but it is oh so important to do just that. Set aside the mundane and the practical and get yourself inspired to enjoy some quality, relaxing time with your husband.

It doesn’t have to be expensive or over the top – the idea is to relieve the stress factor, not add to it. Let the kids know you are planning an at home “date night” for mom and dad and have them help you make some romantic decorations, place cards, set the table for two with candlelight and romantic music. (We once dined to Can You Feel The Love Tonight from Lion King – compliments of my sweet son!) The meal can be a simple one you make, or you could pre-order and have him pick up take out.

The stress of your day (and his) will melt away if you concentrate on loving your husband and spending quality time with him.

You can provide pizza and a movie for the kids, or get them situated with sandwiches and chips and a major art project or engineering masterpiece – whatever will keep them busy for a while.

Nothing seems to make kids happier than seeing their parents in love and you will find them eager to help you prepare and pull off a special quiet evening for two!

Best of all, in the process of planning and carrying out special time together as husband and wife you are training your children to do the same someday when they are married.

I would say that is some overwhelmingly successful parenting!

For Men Only, Sort Of

Jan
10

If you are like me you are sort of the “gate keeper” in your home.

Actually, it’s a well known fact by all marketers that you and I are the one’s who generally decide what is coming into our home, what our families are going to participate in, purchase, attend, visit, etc. (Assuming you are a chick – if you are one of the few dudes who read my blog – you need to keep reading too, this really is for YOU!)

You get the idea ladies, actually you live the idea – so I know you get it!

Well, as the gate keeper, if you have been looking for something that would “speak” to your husband and encourage and challenge him, in a good way, I would like you to take a look at the video at the bottom of the post I wrote Monday over at MomLife Today.

On Super Bowl Saturday (the day before the Super Bowl) there are groups of men around the country (world) gathering to watch a simulcast about how to Step Up and Be The Man!

Nice.

If your man can’t be part of this February 2nd event, no matter – he can get his own copy of the video series and do it by himself, with a gathering of men and/or with his own teenage son and their friends.

Many men watch Hollywood’s version of being a man, this gate keeper looks for any opportunity to have the men in my life watch God’s truth about Stepping Up to be a man. And there are not too many of those opportunities out there!

If you have an interest in this and you have any questions, please ask away.  I really believe in the content of this video event … it’s like a teaching tape on steroids because it is very engaging and inspiring.

My son and his friends gave up social events to continue watching this series and a group of guys my daughter attends college with went through the video series and they are planning a college wide guys event around it this semester.

It’s that good!

Mom Disappears!?

Oct
5

I want to disappear.

Do you have days like that?

Oh how glorious it would be if the skies would part and Jesus would appear and then I could disappear. The constant praise of Him could begin. I find myself longing for that more and more.

Is that promise of being reunited with my Savior the source of the longing in my heart on this day (and several others) to disappear?

I have spent the last three weeks caring for my husband as he battled West Nile Virus that developed into a bad case of pneumonia. I watched my 6’5”, 225 pound he-man of a man go from unstoppable to unmovable.

That is an experience that causes one to strip life down to the essence.

My essence proved to be a stronger than normal longing for heaven. This illness of my husband coupled with the pain I have been living with for the last year due to a slipped disc and pinched nerve has truly found me seeking God and His truths in a much deeper way.

Isn’t that just like our Father in Heaven to strip us of the ease of life to bring us to a longing for Him.

If I look at the history of my life, times of “longing for heaven” have always been times that brought me closer to the Creator of heaven…and earth – because I fervently sought Him out. I am talking deeply, fervently kind of seeking. The last few weeks I have experienced anew the truth that the closer one draws to Him the more clearly one understands how far one is from Him.

It also reveals the sweet truth of my need to long for Jesus in my everyday life. Grab ahold of that longing and turn it into a personal desire to daily live in a way that reveals more of Him and less of me to a hurting world.

Jesus can be revealed in how I am with my family, friends and all who God places in my path. But do I always allow Him to be revealed? Or am I in His way?

Where do you turn when the longing envelops you?

Are there counterfeits that you run to? Social media, a phone call, cleaning, food, doing, reading, sleeping, anything to effectively silence the longing – a flawed redirect from the “real” solution to the longing.

Friends…turn to Him. Allow the sky to part right where you are – Jesus and His peace and contentment and sweet moments of praise can be revealed to you daily. Read His word, spend time in prayer, unburden your heart with words to Him, listen for His voice, confess what you are holding onto and rest in the assurance that the longing to disappear directs you to disappear into Him.

I am hit with the reality that the longing in my heart that draws me to Heaven is the same longing that is in every heart. But there are many who seek out counterfeit soothing to that longing.

Friend I hope you will seek Him and find ways to point others to Him through word and deed.

And remember…little eyes are always watching and learning as you Be The Mom…especially through those times of longing.

 

Genesis Freshly Shared

Sep
14

FamilyLife has an amazing video series that is transforming marriages around the country – and world!

This is one of my favorite pieces found in The Art of Marriage!  Check it out and if you are interested, you can host an Art of Marriage in your own home, church or community!

Cinderella Mom Finds Prince Charming

Sep
6

All around me there were men looking rather dapper in their suits and ties, most with a healthy pink glow on their faces due to the afternoon hiking fun they had just enjoyed with their wives.

Their smiles were extra broad as they glided through the room accompanied by their beloved wives dressed in feminine loveliness.  Excitement was in the air as we were gathering for our dinner in the large dining room.

Tables of eight were laden with fresh tablecloths, china, silverware, but the finery on the table paled in comparison to the fine couples seated around them.  Conversation came easily, even though most of these married couples had just met each other.  There is something about a common experience that brings people together in expectant anticipation.

These thirty couples had gathered to invest in and celebrate their marriage.  The weekend had been spent learning more about how to be an attentive spouse, the hours set aside for each couple to explore God’s creation and each other afforded the long over due re-melding of hearts, without distraction.

After dinner there was music, then as if some distant voice beckoned them the men excused themselves and left the room.  Each Cinderella sat contentedly listening to the music, no doubt curious, yet at ease while wondering to where her prince charming had slipped away.

Then quietly each man entered the room carrying a rose and a covenant vow on paper.  Instantly it was evident their chests were somehow broader, their countenance revealing more confidence.  Each man knelt before his bride and the whispers of “Will You Marry Me…Again” were wafting through the room with a melody whose enjoy ability far surpassed the guitarists offerings.

Eyes were moist, smiles were warm, nuzzling, giggling and heart sighs were filling the room with a sweetness that caused me to softly weep.  My man, with his golden eyes and boyish grin was a member of this gentlemanly chorus and I became keenly aware that individually and collectively we were all part of something uniquely poetic.

Every woman longs to be adored.

Every man longs to be a hero.

On this night, in this room, a covenant vow spoken from him to her and then her to him revealed to me afresh that abiding love needs to be revealed, remembered and rekindled.

Oh how the enemy revels in keeping us all too busy to make time for such intentional acts of romance.

If your heart longs for an evening like this with your husband, don’t wait for twenty- nine other couples, nor should you wait for him to make it happen.  You can make it happen, in your own creative way – with a joy filled heart.

I encourage you to set the stage for your own evening of romance, to prepare words of affirmation for your man and to make rekindling your abiding love a gift that you will choose to give to him, to each other…and to your children.

Cinderella didn’t wait in the ashes for her Prince to come to her, she put herself together and went to the ball…expectant at what her reflection in his eyes would do to his heart…and hers.

No Perfect Moms

Aug
28

There are no perfect moms and certainly as a woman who wrote a book titled Be The Mom I hope anyone who sees that book will inquire further and learn that my heart behind the book is simply to exhort moms to step into their God given role as a mom with a quiet resolve to do so with intentionality and purpose.

As C.S. Lewis said, “The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only, and that is to support the ultimate career.” And what this mom of teens is passionate…no, actually burdened by the Lord…to share with you is that seeing your role as mom (homemaker) truly is powerful in the lives of your children and in your own life.

My heart is to encourage you, to share what I have learned from others, from my own experience and from the molding hands of the Lord. I have been described by several who have reviewed my book on Amazon as someone with the voice of a “big sister” who just wants to chat, share and encourage.

What you see is what you get, what you read it what you get. Real, flawed and bare for the world to see. What I can tell you is the good parts of my mothering, the parts that have gone well, the areas where I see fruit in my children’s life and in my life – that’s all grace and blessing handed down from a good and perfect God. I do not have it all figured out, but I know the One who does, I know His mercies are new everyday and that He can fill me with joy every day! Despite my circumstances.

There have been circumstances that were very hard in our marriage and I have spent time mothering absent of God’s power as I tried to do it all on my own. What I know is, God has always been the foundation and we have always sought Him and His ways. He has never left or forsaken us.

My man and I have used team work during our twenty five years of marriage, team work that is strong as it is locked tightly in a three stranded cord.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”  Ecclesiastes 4:12

Rather than seek perfection…admit your imperfection and seek an abiding relationship with the One who is perfection.

 

Conversation Starters for Date Night

Aug
10

I am still at the MOPS convention in Dallas and am quite tired from talking to moms all day long! I am also being inspired by their heart to serve others!

Since I don’t seem to have the time to do anything but chat, giggle and connect with moms…I would like to send you over to MomLife Today where I whipped up some conversation starters for you and your hubby!

Enjoy!

Wedding Coordinator Observations

May
15

Over the weekend I had the joy of serving a friend as the wedding coordinator for her daughter’s wedding. I have had lots of experience through the years as a party planner, wedding planner, but as of late I “gift” my services to those I love because it blesses me tremendously to see a peaceful mother and a happy bride!

As I sat on my back deck today praying for the new bride and groom I had several snapshots of the day click through my head.

  • the bride and her mother and attendants getting ready before the wedding, seeing that nervous anticipation on the bride’s face…and remembering my own
  • the groom’s look of awe as I told him – five minutes before “first look” photo’s
  • the prayers of my 16 year old boy work crew as we were preparing for the out door reception while the ceremony was taking place
  •  the sun bursting forth the moment the bride and groom stepped out of the church (answered prayer – the forecast was 70% chance of thunderstorms)
  • the father of the bride singing as his daughter had the first dance with her husband
  • the contented look of the mother of the bride as she stood by throughout the day, a short distance away, watching and relishing the joy of her daughter no doubt realizing a season has passed
  • the bride stooping down to talk with a wide eyed five year old little girl who saw standing before her a princess of fairy tale proportions
  • a weary groom, patiently waiting to steal his bride away from chatting wedding guests and carry her to her surprise honeymoon destination
  • the final goodbye’s of the parents of the groom and parents of the bride before they ran out of the church into a sea of bubbles

Weddings are glorious. Marriage is difficult.

My prayer is that this sweet couple will spend everyday dying to self, for that is truly the secret behind the “I do” … “for as long as you both shall live.”

 

RoMANtic Done Right

Feb
10

Valentine’s Day is approaching…are you filled with anticipation?

I get that we women long for romance and wonder what our husband’s might be planning for us, but how about a change of plans this year? How about this year you plan something special for him?

Maybe just suggest to him this weekend that you are going to make all the Valentine’s Day plans – whether you prepare a meal at home, or make reservations to go out, you take the initiative to create a romantic interlude.

I have always preferred the at home route…our children enjoy a pizza and movie picnic in a separate room for our romantic dinner at home. The best part of the night are the giggles we would get when they’d peek around the corner and see their parents enjoying a quiet dinner together!

Modeling loving each other well is a wonderful Valentine’s gift for your children – and one they will carry with them into adulthood!

Looking for the perfect gift for hubby to top the night off? Are you aware you could do this at zero monetary cost?

Get a medium sized box, put nothing in it, wrap it up in extravagant red and white wrapping or with simple white tissue paper and a big red bow. When he opens it give him a knowing smile and let him know that’s your new night gown.

Simple…but effective roMANce!